Body Shaming - let's talk about it!

Most of us are potential victims of ‘body shaming’ – the widespread phenomenon of receiving cruel feedback when our bodies don’t meet the unrealistic beauty standards of our time.

We spend our time lost in self-critical thoughts, despising our body and comparing ourselves unfavourably to others.

In a survey of adolescents in grades 9 to 12, more than 59% of females and 29% of males were trying to ‘lose weight’. Over 18% of girls and 8% of boys had, in the last 30 days, gone without food for 24 hours or more – just to lose weight. 95% of people with eating disorders fall between the ages of 12 and 25.

There are various reasons why people of my age are targeted, including: we’re too young to realise what’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for our health; we’re so easily influenced by celebrities and the media; we overthink about other people’s judgements about us and many of us don’t even understand what’s incorrect in saying, “You aren’t fat, you’re beautiful.”

This illustration has been inspired by one of the campaigns against body shaming – ‘Bodies aren’t ugly. Bullying is.’

Let us make each other realise that fat, tall, short, or thin are not insults but just characteristics. A number on the weighing machine cannot determine our worth. Losing weight is not our life’s work and counting calories is not the call of our soul.

Janusry Harshe, the founder of Birth Without Fear writes, “My body has been gloriously used from the top of my head down to the tips of my toes. I use the talents I have been given to the best of my ability. I try to use my mind to live my passions that will make my soul feel alive. My voice is heard and used to speak truths, inspiration, and empowerment. To tell my family I love them as often as possible. My ears listen to story after story as women process. My heart has ached with loss and soared with joy and love. My breasts have nourished children, my womb has created life, my body has birthed human beings, my hands and arms have comforted and held those I love and embraced thousands of women and men in hugs and solidarity. My legs have squatted as I pushed out children. My feet have chased giggling toddlers. That’s just a fraction of what my body has done in a short 37 years.”

Skinny shaming

‘Skinny shaming’ is another type of bullying that is arguably harmful because it perpetuates the notion that somebody’s self-worth should be based on his or her appearance.

Andrea Watcher, a psychotherapist and author says, “I have learned that changing my body will not make me feel loved, loving myself will. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance and all women and men have the right to accept their body. The shame is on the ones who use that to attack their self esteem.”

Let’s stop any kind of body shaming, now and together.

 

What can be done about body shaming?

We cannot control the actions and comments of others but we can stop ourselves from entering the vicious cycle of body shaming.

1. Stop body shaming yourself.

Everyone has bad days and times when they feel they would like to change something about themselves. Try to accept who you are rather than condemning yourself for it. If you’re around people who are moaning about their appearance, rather than joining in, walk away and do something that makes you feel good about yourself.

2. Don’t join in.

You may encounter or have encountered body shaming regularly, and be guilty of joining in, possibly without even realising it. The best thing you can do is avoid making negative comments altogether.

While many people point their fingers at social media and the media at large,body shaming has been around since the beginning of time — today there are simply more opportunities. The statements below speak for themselves — and we’re sure that you’ll see a little bit of yourself in each of them.

“I got badly bullied when I was a new student in elementary school, starting in kindergarten when I was five and lasting until I was nine years old. One girl told me every day during recess, ‘You’re so skinny that I can see right through you!’ I was a shy child and did not know how to handle this bullying, especially the name-calling. I was sad, and I believed that there was something very wrong with me.”

“After five years of dating, my boyfriend told me he did not want to date me anymore because I was fat. I was so hurt, and for the next ten years, I was on a weight loss roller coaster and a downward spiral of self-body shaming. In 2015, I decided to stop dealing with F.A.T. (Fear, Attitude and Toxic people). With that decision, I lost over 80 pounds and wrote a book about my journey.” – Leticia A. Mathis, author of 3D Woman: Discovering Her Mind, Body, & Spirit.

"I actually just came from a doctor’s office yesterday. The nurse who checked me in was shocked and said, ‘Wow, I weigh people all day every day, and I would never have guessed you weighed that much!’ I’m a fitness instructor and personal trainer dealing with a herniated disc. We are sensitive too.”